Musings in the Hammock

Okay. So I don’t even know where to start. So many crazy, wonderful, and difficult things have happened since I’ve moved. So many things in my head that want to come out and be shared with everyone. And I’ve totally been slacking on doing any meaningful writing. Luckily for me one of my besties, Kina gave me this great book- 635 Things to Write About. So I’ve been able to at least pretend that I’m practicing my writing skills.
But in all actuality I’ve been settling into Island life. I’ll be honest. Things would have gone much more smoothly had I not totally sucked on saving money for my move. I barely made it out of Colorado with anything, (mostly due to poor judgment and lack of restraint) but was able to make it out and had my wonderful mom to help. Staying with her is not only fun and awesome, since she is totally my BFF, but has also been challenging and trying with lots of self reflection and mirroring of eachother. She has totally taken care of me and it’s a weird and awesome feeling to have that. 

I’ve also found that there is a trial period for Island living and you either make it and thrive. Or you don’t. Some say the first 3 to 6 months are the hardest. People don’t even want to consider you for a job unless you’ve lived here for at least a year. And literally everything takes longer amd is harder and usually done differently everytime. Flexibility is key.

Even in this first month I’ve tested all my limits on all levels. And damn does it feel refreshing. You have to live so authentic here that you either face yourself or go back to your comfort zone. And dont mind the people who don’t leave and just hide in rum… (Think Capt Jack Sparrow.) Regardless, you really get to know yourself here. And you get to really have the time to sit and choose what you want your life to look like.

I’ve had a sprained ankle, emergency visits to the vet, fights with my mom, job security thrown out the window (my solid massage job doesn’t exist yet… but maybe sometime this summer???), money taken because of poor judgment, and I still am living at my mom’s house and unable to support myself. Hard blow to the ego here.

And yet, I’ve also been boating to different islands every week, walking my dog more, going to the beach all the time and meeting some fantastic people. I’ve also had the time and space to realize that I have to grab hold of the wheel and choose my life. I have had to amend my plans sure, but I had the very strong realization that it’s all still my choice. Even when I’m scrimping and saving every penny and working at a place I didn’t think I would, doing a job I said I’d never do again (which for the record I totally love my barista job and couldn’t have found a better place to match my immediate needs), it’s still in my control. I can plan for something and work to get there. And not just on a fluke or because I got lucky, but because I decided I wanted it and made it happen. 

So ultimately as I sit here on this beautiful Sunday, resting in the hammock out on the porch overlooking the point of Peterborg, listening to the birds and the bugs, I’m planning my life and really seeing what I want and who I want to be and working toward it. 

Baby steps. 

Serious baby steps.

 But so worth it. Live the life you were ment to, but don’t for one second think it’s going to be handed to you. You have to be willing to let yourself be tested. And really be okay at looking at yourself with love and compassion.

Okay, that’s all for this round. 😘